Who do we call…

When we fear those we are told to call?

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Torment

Your skin, dark and firm
Felt like butter against
my tongue. Smooth and
slick I traced a path down
your chest until you begged
me to stop.

I squeezed your shoulders
To feel the hard curves
The rocks and boulders that
Lie beneath the surface.
I squeezed and rubbed until
You pleaded no more.

My teeth tested your skin.
I nipped at your neck
Your throat and your chest.
A fiery trail that I soothed
With my tongue. More and
More till you implored me
To relent.

My tongue tasted, my finger-
Tips glazed across your skin.
My teeth assaulted you as my
Lips caressed you. This time
You begged me not to finish
Until you do.

For Always and Forever

Fluttering kicks, roaring
nausea. The toilet became
my alter. Freezing
gel to hear your heart
beat.
I promised to love
you forever and always.

There was groaning, sliding
ripping agony. Screaming
dripping wet, they laid
you on my chest.
I promised to love
you forever and always.

Cracked and bleeding
yet you want to eat again
so my tears dripped
on your face. As I cry
you look at me and smile.
I promise to love
you forever and always.

Smiles, gurgles turn
to screams. Struggling turns
to look for me. One arm up,
your eyes implore
“mommy please come for me.”
I love you
for always and forever.

Breastfeeding: The bad

I breastfeed. That’s how I choose to feed my baby because that is what works for me. I don’t give her bottles if I’m around, though I do pump for when I have to leave her and to donate. Other than that, she gets straight booby no matter where I am. There are many struggles and many good things about breastfeeding. The bad thing is that I’ve gotten mean looks, rude words and questioned about my choice in how I feed MY baby.

For some odd reason, many people see breastfeeding as wrong, provocative and disgusting and I do not understand why. People would rather see skin that is obviously being sexualized, rather than a beautiful natural process. Breastfeeding is what breast are for. I’m not flashing anyone. I actually show less skin breastfeeding than when I wear any one of my many cleavage showing shirts.

And whether I’m covered or not, according to Florida laws, I can feed my baby where ever I want.

My biggest “Bad” about breastfeeding is when I feed my baby in public and there are issues. Not all experiences are bad ones though. I’ve had many words of praise or encouragement from some people too. These words, both good and bad, can affect a new mom strongly. The other day I experienced both praise and disgust within just minutes of each other.

I decided to visit a professor that I had while I was pregnant. While on campus I was wearing her in my Infantino Mai Tai. Because of how this carrier works I’m able to feed her in it without taking it off and a stranger would only know I’m feeding her if they walk up to me and look down into the carrier. Two women, two strange women, approached me at separate times and did just that while I was minding my own business walking to my destination.

Both encounters started off the same; I’m spotted wearing Baby, I’m approached by happily gushing women saying, “Oh my gosh! A baby!” That is the end of the similarities of the encounters.

Upon spying Baby latched and blissfully unaware of her surroundings, Woman #1 recoils as if I’ve slapped her. Looks at me in disgust and exclaims, “You’re going that here?!” Then walks off in a huff leaving me to wonder where would she prefer me to feed my baby? In the bathroom? EW!

In stark contrast to Woman #1, Woman #2 happily exclaimed, “AWWW and she’s nursing! Breastfeeding. Breastfeed everywhere. I love it.” She then patted me on the shoulder and walked away.

Breastfeeding is actually a struggle and any praise I get reminds me that I’m doing something wonderful for Baby and the babies that I pump for.

My biggest “Bad” regarding breastfeeding. Countered, unknowingly, by a good.

But it still leaves me with the question of “why?”

Why is breastfeeding in public such a big issue?

Why is it so controversial?

~Mahya

What are your thoughts?

What are your breastfeeding “Bads”?

RITUAL

I lay in bed just awakened. I point my toes towards the south and stretch my arms to the north, praising the morning sun. I lay back, relaxed and watch my stomach contort as I feel you do the same. You twist and roll and hiccup. I can see it all through the stretched skin of my stomach. I say your name. You kick me.  I touch my stomach. You touch back. I sing your song and you move in time to my voice. My stomach gurgles. Startled you kick down and I am reminded of other morning duties. I stand and walk away from our bed and the sway of my hips lulls you back to sleep. Our morning ritual.

#WearYellowForSeth

Today, a beautiful boy named Seth asked the world to show him some love and support by wearing his favorite color, yellow. So many people posted pics in yellow that I was very happily shocked.

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Seth has severe combined immunodeficiency disorder (SCID), which he was diagnosed with at 5 months old. Because of his almost non-existent immune system, Seth doesn’t often get to meet new people and make new friends because he confined to his sterilized hospital room. However, today hundreds of thousands of people from all over the world showed Seth that he has more friends that love and care about him than he can possibly imagine.
Just seeing the massive amount of pictures rolling in on Instagram in support of Seth made me tear up a bit.

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Seth, Baby and I have never met you but we love and support you.

GO SETH!!

If you would like to show support to this beautiful boy named Seth, visit his family’s page at:
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Wearyellowforseth/946709205361894

Or grab some yellow and post a pic and tag it: #WearYellowForSeth